the diary of a girl named joanne

what do you do when you’re alone?

i dunno about you. but i always sit and just, you know, just thinking to myself quietly, especially every night before finally deciding to call it a day and tugging myself in bed. thinking about many things; things like what i’ve done during the day or after dinner, what i said to my friends or family, what i feel about something and what others are thinking about something. it certainly is peculiar of me, i know. to be honest, i dun own a book diary, cos i dun like writing into one and worrying later where i should hide it so that no one will ever get a peek into my "secrets". i’m not saying that keeping a diary is dangerous. if you feel much more comfortable writing one, then by all means go ahead! but for me, the mind is still the best place to keep all your thoughts and secrets, and the heart - your feelings. no one will ever find out.

yeah, i agree that if you dun write it down somewhere, you’ll tend to forget everything, maybe not that soon but somewhere down the road in your life. yes, keeping a book diary certainly has an advantage of "freezing" a situation into your personal book so that it’ll always stay that way, and it cannot be forgotten. it is fun to read a passage you’ve written 10 years ago in your diary; reminiscing and reliving those memories you’ve had long ago; it could be something stupid you’ve said to a guy or something embarrassing you’ve done back in high school. yes fun fun fun, but hey i still find it safest to keep it in mind.

this could be one of the reasons why i could easily forgive and forget a person’s tresspasses cos i’ve kept them all in mind - i tend to forget! besides, i feel this way also helps me be a much happier person, a person who moves on without looking back… just by thinking silently to myself, i feel i’m lighter and not loaded with a burden of memories of how someone’s hurt me a few years ago. this, i have learnt about myself.

but of course, there are also good events i would wish to keep and cherish for as long as i could. events that i hold dear. and hopefully, my brain still has more than enough space to store all those.

to sum up to date, looking at a general point of view, i thank God that i’m blessed with many good things: my supportive family, my many wonderful friends, the health, the material things that i have, my talents and gifts, and all that i am yesterday, today and always. happy i am. i always look on the bright sides of life. i realise that i’m more blessed than i thought i am. all i do is sit down and think… when i’m alone…