the diary of a girl named joanne

today started with a low key - solemn, quiet, slow… as if time didn’t want to move at all. there are times when you wanna freeze the moment and make it last forever… but there are also times when you dread the moment and wish that it would just pass as quickly as possible. and today is just that.

enough of what i had to go thru yesterday night… and thought it was all settled… (though people just can’t leave other people alone). slept like a baby thru the night and hoped the night would be longer. got up in the morning quite reluctantly (maybe because it’s monday… i always find it difficult to "start my engine" on monday mornings). but i got up anyway. waited for the bus outside the college… but all the buses that passed me by this morning were packed-sardine with people! so i had to walk to another bus-stop at another junction in hopes for an at-least-emptier bus… please! thank God, i got to my class right on time…

well, couldn’t concentrate in class (partly because it’s macroecons… and partly because michelle told me about something which made me feel uneasy). NO… michelle didn’t hurt my feelings (she’s an angel; she wouldn’t even hurt a fly). but it’s the news she reported to me which made me uncomfortable… yeah, it was really thought provoking, which made me think again. so there i was "half in class listening to Dr. Aziz and half inside my own head". eventually, the thinking evolved into confusion into lethargy… there i was slowly dozing away in class, not because i was a lazy student who refused to listen to lectures but because i was getting tired of thinking…thinking about whether things ought to be corrected, about whether things would work out and about whether i was on the right track.

tired.

and i guess, i chose the easy way out - ignorance. that’s what i always do… ignore if you’re not sure you know how to deal with it… quickly think of something else, take your mind away somewhere else. play cool til it hits you.

playing cool now.